The Femslash Addict

I feel like current television femslash potential is sorely lacking right now. I'm enjoying my shows regardless, but I do feel an absence of the femslash. Here are the TV shows I'm watching this season:

Cold Case
CSI Miami
The Forgotten
Glee
Criminal Minds
Law & Order SVU
Bones
CSI

And technically, I have several weeks' worth of Heroes and Smallville on my DVR, but I don't know when/if I'll get to those. Also, I've seen three episodes of Three Rivers, a show that is pretty damn terrible but only watchable for Katherine Moennig.

It's not as though there aren't any female characters on these shows. They're full of cute girls and beautiful women. There's no femslashy subtext. I mean, it doesn't take much for me to femslash the hell out of even the most subtextiest subtext, and I come away empty-handed every week.

The only show that gives me hope is Criminal Minds, and that's only because I'm still high on the fact that they've finally allowed Emily and JJ to be in close proximity much of the time or exchange those meaningful looks or have some goddamn physical contact, for crap's sake, instead of maintaining 100 feet of distance between them at all times like they did last season. I can live off that Knee Rub for a long, long time.

But Femslash Addict cannot live by Knee Rub alone.

Any suggestions? Anybody watching anything with even a semblance of femslashy subtext? My femslash goggles are wearing out. :(

ETA: Some of the movies I've seen and forgot to put on the list. :)

Thank you to lepetit_trianon for the message. You inspired me. :)

Whoever it was that told me I had to watch Spider Lilies as part of my Quest to Watch Every Lesbian Movie Ever, Including the Bad Ones (I'm Looking at YOU, Claire of the Moon) is my hero. Spider Lilies was AMAZING. It might actually be one of my favorite lesbian movies I've ever seen, and you can tell from the following list that I've seen a lot of them. Perhaps too many. :)


Loving Annabelle - loved it; a very sad and beautiful story
Fingersmith - a long one, but amazing and totally worth the wait
Imagine Me & You - cemented my crushes on both Lena Headey and Piper Perabo, plus a great ending
Gray Matters - meh; it made me crazy with Bridget Moynahan and Heather Graham, but I didn't like the ending
Puccini For Beginners - as lesbian/straight girl/straight guy triangle movies go, this one is better than average; certainly worth a look
Kissing Jessica Stein - just like revolos55 said, this movie is awesome until the very last 10 minutes...
The Children's Hour - holy crap, demeter94, I'm so happy I'm not the only one who has seen this movie! Audrey and Shirley are very intense, and what a shocker this film turned out to be!
Desert Hearts - it definitely wasn't bad; something about it made me feel weird and uncomfortable, but I don't know what; still a good movie as lesbian movies go
My Summer of Love - lots of lesbian content, but this movie just creeped me out
The Hours - I thought it was slow and heavy, but at least Julianne Moore was in it
But I'm a Cheerleader - HYSTERICAL, and extremely enjoyable
All Over Me - one of those frustrating, depressing movies that makes you feel unhappy and helpless most of the time, but that might have just been me; an early appearance by Leisha Hailey of The L Word
The Truth About Jane - for a Lifetime movie, this was pretty good, and I love Ellen Muth
Bound - I couldn't really enjoy this one because it was so...ugly, if that's even the right word for it
Claire of the Moon - horribly written, acted, shot, etc. It makes me grimace to even think of it.
It's In the Water - another Nicole Conn film, and this one is better that Claire of the Moon, but not the best I've ever seen by a long shot
A Girl Thing - okay, I confess that the only reason I liked this miniseries is because of Elle Macpherson (HOT), and it's really not that badly done
Fried Green Tomatoes - subtext, my ass; Idgie/Ruth is TEXT in Fannie Flagg's novel, and that's what makes this movie so great
Between Two Women - a subtle film about post-WWII British women; it was a little too subtle for my tastes, but still an incredibly intense and nuanced film
Heavenly Creatures - lots of slightly scary lesbian content that makes my skin crawl, but it's supposed to be that way
Dr. T and the Women - because the gay part is marginal, I didn't put this on the list at first, but I have to say that Kate Hudson and Liv Tyler making out is a beautiful sight
D.E.B.S. - Funny, silly, entertaining, and incredibly hot couple involving Jordanna Brewster. YES.
Saving Face - I love this movie. It was funny and sensitive, and the ending was great. The girls are cute, too. :)
Tipping the Velvet - I'm glad I saw this. It was long, but sooooo good. I might be a little bit in love with Flo. But just like Fingersmith, excellent Sarah Waters adaptation.
Aimee and Jaguar - I was only so-so about this one. Not sure why, especially given my obsession with studying WWII and the Holocaust. Something about the chemistry between Aimee and Jaguar didn't resonate with me.
Spider Lilies - OH MY GOD. Zero Chou is my favorite. This movie was so AWESOME, and every time I think about the love scene, my stomach gets all wibbly feeling. GUH.
When Night is Falling - Beautiful, beautiful film. Great chemistry between the two main female characters.
High Art - I would have liked it better if it weren't for all the drug use. Drugs don't fly with me. But hey, Radha Mitchell is cool. :)
Nina's Heavenly Delights You win, anomalys. You seriously, seriously win. Along with Spider Lilies, Loving Annabelle, Imagine Me & You, and Fingersmith, this is in my Top 5 Favorite Lesbian Movies So Far. Funny, clever, sweet, cute--I could go on. You should know that I am now officially in love with Shelley Conn. *thud*
Fire - Stunning. Absolutely stunning. Charged with passion and social criticism.
Love & Suicide - This is a very low budget, low production quality indie film, but it's pretty decently acted and written, and it has a very long, very effective, very moving love scene. So good I watched the love scene about six times in a row.
Amour de Femme - French movie, awesome chemistry between female leads, but the story is one of those 'married straight woman is torn between two alternatives' movies. And those depress me. :(
Water Lilies - As soon as you mentioned it so_wicked I remembered that I saw it several months ago, even discussed it here. Despite being frustrated, I love this movie.
Personal Best - SO ANNOYING. I hated it. I don't care that it's like some kind of pillar of lesbian film or something. I did not enjoy it. Bleh.
The Secrets - OMFG, The Secrets. Apparently I too have a thing for hot Jews, pocabomba. This movie was so heartbreaking and beautiful. It's definitely one I want to own eventually.
Therese and Isabelle - A kind of experimental movie from 1968. Roommates at an all girls Catholic boarding school. Tragic lesbian romance ensues. Great acting. Okay movie.
Goldfish Memory - DO NOT WANT. It started out well, then ended horribly. Kind of. I had an objection to one character in particular who landed at the center of the lesbian content and who pissed me off because she was a hypocrite.

Movies I've still not seen:
Lost and Delirious
Better than Chocolate
Gia
What's Cooking?
I Can't Think Straight
Kiss Me Again

I LOVE FEMSLASH!!2#!2$3!!!1!

Sorry, got carried away.

In closing, I hope you all have been watching the new season of Criminal Minds. Emily Prentiss no longer has bangs because she gave them to JJ. And everyone? The Emily/JJ is BACK. Not only the lingering gazes and occasional noteworthy proximity, but in the latest episode there was KNEE TOUCHING AND CUP OF COFFEE GETTING. JJ had a rough time on the case, and she seems kind of broody on the plane ride back. Then Emily comes over, puts a mug of some comforting hot beverage down on the table in front of JJ, puts down her own mug, and reaches over to pat/rub/touch JJ's knee before sitting down next to her. They don't speak; they don't need to. JJ just smiles gratefully and they sit quietly next to each other. It's back, y'all. Whatever JJ's pregnancy last season drove away, it's BACK. I could die of the squee. :)

So, I just finished the first two seasons of Dexter, a really great show, by the way.

Sometimes, I catch myself having femslashy thoughts about Deb and La Guerta. Anyone else familiar with this show, and if so, what are your femslash-related thoughts? Or just thoughts in general?

On the list of movies involving a lesbian storyline where things don't go well for the lesbian, you can add Love on the Side. I don't know what possessed me to watch this movie, as it was obvious from the plot description that it wouldn't go well for the gay girl. But I think the sheer adorableness of Marla Sokoloff won me over, and I watched the damn thing. Ultimately unsatisfying and a little depressing, but it does have a decent kiss and this one scene involving toplessness and sketching and a whole mess of sexual tension that kind of made me feel like I could jump out of my skin. But alas, it was all for naught. So, skip that one if you have a better movie to watch.

This is completely random, but you know that CBS show The Mentalist? The only reason, and I mean only reason, I ever feel like watching that show is because of Amanda Righetti. OH MY GOD IN HEAVEN. Fucking gorgeous. Like, the kind of drop-dead gorgeous that makes it hard for me to think straight (HA, I made an unintentional pun!). And while I don't really care for Robin Tunney, her mere presence on Mentalist with Amanda Righetti gives me femslashy thoughts. :D

Okay, must get myself to bed now. :)

So, a lot of shows have been premiering in the last few weeks, and even though I haven't been able to discuss them individually as much as I'd like, I want to talk about them and my general femslashy impressions so far. So here we go!

( Dear One Tree Hill, )

( Law & Order: SVU - Trials, aka I Miss Diane Neal Like You Wouldn't Believe, But Michaela McManus Will Certainly Do )

( Unsurprisingly, Terminator: SCC continues to be awesome. )

Wow. I'm tired now. I think I will finally sleep. :)

What I mean when I say 'gayest non-gay' is a character that is never officially declared gay, but gives a viewing audience good reason to question their sexuality. They may even be textually and overtly straight. They may be paired frequently with male love interests. The subject of sexuality or romance may never even come up. But there's something about her, a lack of chemistry with male love interests, a mannerism, the way she carries herself, ambiguous subtext, or perhaps the clothes she wears on a regular basis. She may not be gay according to the official record, but there is definitely something very, very gay about her.

So, I'm going to start the list with my own picks, and these are just names I've been thinking about the last few days. I know there are more, and I expect you all to pitch in. No need to raise your hand. Just call out the answer. :)

Janis Ian, Mean Girls - When they wedge her character into an awkward and sudden relationship with Kevin G. at the very end of the movie, it always makes me balk. I realize that one of the pillars of Janis' character is that she will never get over Regina convincing everyone she was a lesbian and ruining her life, but it would fit the character much better if it turned out that maybe Janis really wasn't in love with Regina at any point, but she still likes girls.
Missy Pantone, Bring It On - Okay, what? Even though being called a "dyke-y loser" was a mean thing to say, it wasn't altogether off-base. Missy seems...kinda gay. Drawing tattoos on herself? CHAIN WALLET? And she seemed really excited to find out that Les was gay, and then she became good friends with him, almost like she was happy to have an ally. And there is no male love interest, not even a hint. Make of it what you will. :)
Haley Graham, Stick It - Speaking of Jessica Bendinger movies, this is another one with a main female character whose sexuality remains a mystery. The only time romance even comes up for Haley is when she is asked if one of her guy friends is her boyfriend. She responds with a fervent "eww!" She essentially dresses like a guy most of the time (baggy clothes, baseball hats, skater shoes, and not a single pink item of clothing to be seen), her gymnastics leotard being the only notable exception to that rule. She even acts kind of like a dude sometimes, which isn't surprising because she seems to only have guy friends. When the movie ends, I always imagine she goes on to compete in collegiate gymnastics and ends up falling madly in love with her soccer player roommate who may or may not be tall, leggy, and blonde. I've said too much. :)
Emily Prentiss, "Criminal Minds" - I feel like we've discussed this one to death. ;) The clunky giant watch, the obvious subtextual chemistry thing with J.J., the ambiguity surrounding her personal life, and the way she carries herself all indicate that she might, in fact, be gay. Or at least in denial. :)
Sara Sidle, "CSI" - I think this is mostly Jorja's fault, but even if it is, it doesn't ultimately matter. What Jorja Fox does with the character is the character, and Sara has never, ever had an ounce of romantic chemistry with any of her male love interests, and especially not with Grissom, though they play it up like it's the tragic romance of the century. But watch Sara and, say, Catherine? There's actually substance there.
Olivia Benson, "Law & Order: SVU" - I can only echo and emphasize what most of you have already pointed out: gayest non-gay in the history of ever. It doesn't matter how many Regularly Scheduled Hetero Signposts they throw at me. Her walk, the way she speaks and acts, her look, the eyebrow-raising lines they give her, the chemistry with other female characters like Alex Cabot and Casey Novak--all of this adds up to a character who is clearly homosexual, no matter what Dick Wolf likes to pretend.
Lil, Coyote Ugly - It's been a while since I've seen this movie, but obsidian179's reasoning was so good that I'm just going to include it here: "While the only Coyote in the film that gets to have any kind of love interest at all is Violet (not counting Cammie's mentioned but never shown boyfriend), Lil certainly seems to let her get away with a lot, doesn't she? From what she says, Violet was supposed to have one chance, and that's it. Yet, despite screwing up again and again, she stays. Lil's the kind of woman who can out tough guy the tough guys - if you've seen the movie, you know what I'm talking about - and really doesn't dress or act "feminine" at all. During Kevin's second appearance in the bar (where no boyfriend was supposed to be), even Lil mentions that she's fired girls for a lot less then what Violet did. (And do we mention that Kevin was only there because he was upset that Violet never showed up to meet him - costing him a very expensive comic book... look, I didn't write the movie, okay? - because Lil wouldn't let her leave? Sure, that could be because it was a busy night... but really? That's it? Shyeah, right.) And then she goes to offer Violet her job back later. And after realizing that 'Jersey' isn't going to be coming back, she even calls the dillhole Kevin to get him to go to Violet's show. Yeah, those last two could be her just being a friend to a young woman that reminds her of herself a bit... But I don't quite buy it. ;)"
Juliette Paxton and Jess Bhamra, Bend it Like Beckham - The gay non-gay is even central to the plot! Everyone thinks Jess and Jules are gay, and I don't blame them. Good-looking coach aside, I think that once they get to Santa Clara U. without him, they end up with each other. :)
Sofia Curtis, "CSI" - I can't believe she wasn't immediately on the top of my head when I started thinking about this. It took me literally about ten seconds of seeing her for the first time on CSI to decide that yes, she is very, very gay. The swagger, the clothes, the attitude. SO GAY.
Sarah Connor, "Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles" - I just bought the first season and have been watching the series before it starts again next week, and...wow. I think it's a combination of the legendary Sarah Connor mythos and Lena Headey, but damn. I can't even watch Sarah and Cameron in the same room without losing my mind. I think I just have a hard time taking a badass, gun-toting woman like Sarah Connor as being 100% heterosexual. Can't do it.
Jordan Cavanaugh, "Crossing Jordan" - She's kidding herself if she thinks she's straight. Lisa, Lu...and just the fact of Jill Hennessy. Gay.
Faith, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" - Oh, Faith is absolutely a gay, gay, scary gay non-gay. The sexual tension with Buffy is breathtaking. And she has that kind of swaggery, masculine walk down, too.
Jo Polniaczek, "The Facts of Life" - Oh my god, who were they kidding? Who? Was anyone fooled? She rode a goddamn motorcycle! With leather! Jo was SO GAY. Everything about her was gay. Except for the part where she supposedly wasn't. HA.
Paris Geller, "Gilmore Girls" - I always loved Paris dearly, and part of what I loved about her was the strange relationship she had with Rory. I used to count the number of times the idea of Paris kissing Rory was brought up on the show. And then it actually happened, and that sealed it for me. No one can talk me out of the conclusion that Paris was always secretly in love with Rory. Not ever. :)


So, those are the best ones I've got so far. I want to hear your ideas!

ETA: In my own defense, since many of you were horrified that several of your favorites did not make the initial list, this was merely a starter list. Just to get the ball rolling. I did not forget about Olivia Benson, for heaven's sake! ;)

Addison? Really? I don't get the 'gay non-gay' vibe from her at all. And now I see that it's just me. Odd.

I think I really need to start watching Army Wives. Just the commercials alone look pretty damn gay.

Dude, Reyes? She was totally gay, through and through. But Scully is not gay. Scully and Mulder's love is forever. And that's that. :P

Wow, you guys. I think that was a record number of comments in one post for me. It is so awesome that you are all so very forthcoming with your ideas. :)

Because many of you overwhelmingly recommended it, I guess I will be watching D.E.B.S. next. :D Oddly enough, I've seen the original short film starring Alex Breckenridge, Clare Kramer, and Tammy Lynn Michaels. And that was hot.

So, in light of all the movies you've mentioned, here is the list of lesbian or femslashy movies I've seen so far (that I can remember):

Loving Annabelle - loved it; a very sad and beautiful story
Fingersmith - a long one, but amazing and totally worth the wait
Imagine Me & You - cemented my crushes on both Lena Headey and Piper Perabo, plus a great ending
Gray Matters - meh; it made me crazy with Bridget Moynahan and Heather Graham, but I didn't like the ending
Puccini For Beginners - as lesbian/straight girl/straight guy triangle movies go, this one is better than average; certainly worth a look
Kissing Jessica Stein - just like revolos55 said, this movie is awesome until the very last 10 minutes...
The Children's Hour - holy crap, demeter94, I'm so happy I'm not the only one who has seen this movie! Audrey and Shirley are very intense, and what a shocker this film turned out to be!
Desert Hearts - it definitely wasn't bad; something about it made me feel weird and uncomfortable, but I don't know what; still a good movie as lesbian movies go
My Summer of Love - lots of lesbian content, but this movie just creeped me out
The Hours - I thought it was slow and heavy, but at least Julianne Moore was in it
But I'm a Cheerleader - HYSTERICAL, and extremely enjoyable
All Over Me - one of those frustrating, depressing movies that makes you feel unhappy and helpless most of the time, but that might have just been me; an early appearance by Leisha Hailey of The L Word
The Truth About Jane - for a Lifetime movie, this was pretty good, and I love Ellen Muth
Bound - I couldn't really enjoy this one because it was so...ugly, if that's even the right word for it
Claire of the Moon - horribly written, acted, shot, etc. It makes me grimace to even think of it.
It's In the Water - another Nicole Conn film, and this one is better that Claire of the Moon, but not the best I've ever seen by a long shot
A Girl Thing - okay, I confess that the only reason I liked this miniseries is because of Elle Macpherson (HOT), and it's really not that badly done
Fried Green Tomatoes - subtext, my ass; Idgie/Ruth is TEXT in Fannie Flagg's novel, and that's what makes this movie so great
Between Two Women - a subtle film about post-WWII British women; it was a little too subtle for my tastes, but still an incredibly intense and nuanced film
Heavenly Creatures - lots of slightly scary lesbian content that makes my skin crawl, but it's supposed to be that way
Dr. T and the Women - because the gay part is marginal, I didn't put this on the list at first, but I have to say that Kate Hudson and Liv Tyler making out is a beautiful sight

And that's all I've seen. Here's my new list of movies I'm interested in seeing, and feel free to suggest more as they come to you:

D.E.B.S.
Better than Chocolate
Saving Face
Lost and Delirious
Gia
Tipping the Velvet
Aimee and Jaguar
Spider Lilies, because it comes so highly recommended :)
When Night is Falling
High Art
Nina's Heavenly Delights (okay fine, you win, anomalys)
Fire
What's Cooking?, since apparently everyone is obsessed with Kyra Sedgwick and Julianna Margulies ;)


Oh, and FYI, I am formulating my personal list of Gayest Non-Gay Characters Ever (for example, Janis Ian of Mean Girls is one of the gayest non-gay characters ever), so be thinking about that. To clarify, this list draws from both television and film. Go crazy. :)

Thank you for the message, gsrlove. It's nice to know I was missed. :)

I am back, just in case anyone else was wondering what happened to me. I just took a break from the internet for a while. But I'm back now, and I'm glad I am, because I have SO MANY things to discuss.

First of all, I have apparently and inadvertently embarked on a Quest to Watch Every Lesbian Movie Ever, Including the Bad Ones (I'm Looking at YOU, Claire of the Moon). I'm not sure how this happened, exactly. I think it started somewhere around the time I watched Loving Annabelle and then snowballed out of control from there.

Speaking of Annabelle, that has to be one of the best movies with lesbian themes that I've seen so far. It's miles ahead of so many bad, bad movies in many ways. Acting, production values, writing, direction, you name it. It's much better. Fingersmith is also made of all kinds of awesome. That thing just about killed me. GOD.

Other movies I have seen recently that weren't terrible include Kissing Jessica Stein, Desert Hearts, and Puccini For Beginners. Imagine Me and You is certainly top ten material. Gray Matters was okay. I mean, it sucks that the straight guy wins (again), but at least Bridget Moynahan is unspeakably hot.

Sadly, I've seen scads of other lesbian movies that were not so great. Ahem, Claire of the Moon. Awful.

I am just so annoyed with all these stupid lesbian/straight girl/straight guy love triangle movies. It's always the lesbian that loses, and it's just damn depressing.

So, I want to know what your favorite lesbian movies are. TELL ME.

I did it, and so can you! Act now, and you can gain this impressive skill at the low, low price of your sanity! WHAT A DEAL!

But seriously. I found this out kind of by accident. All you really have to do to end up with girlslashy dreams several nights out of the week is make a mix of songs or music that you associate with a favorite femslash pairing or anything else femslashy that you feel strongly about (come on, I know we all do this; people hear a song, say "oooo this is so totally Insert Femslash Pairing's Name Here!" and then after you've listened to it many times while thinking about Aforementioned Femslash Pairing, it's forever and irrevocably associated with girls who kiss other girls), make that mix into a CD or put it on your mp3 player, and listen to it while you fall asleep.

I always listen to music while I go to sleep, and a while ago I started playing a mix I closely associate with femslash, and now I have frequent dreams on the subject. The downside is that you also have dreams about girls you used to know and are still trying to get the hell over, but that could just be my problem exclusively.

So, femslash music equals femslash dreams. And waking up feeling frustrated, a little giggly, quite unstable, and very uncomfortable. Again, that might just be me.

In other unrelated news, I hate Tila Tequila because she looks, bizarrely enough, like an alien, and that gawd-awful show on MTV (Shot at Love 2: Because Let's Face It, Did Anyone Really Think The Myspace Whore Was Going To Settle Down And Live A Quiet Monogamous Life?) is what's wrong with humanity. But I also hate her because she's an idiot for not taking one look at Brittany and screaming "MINE!" at the top of her lungs and ending her little "quest for love" right then and there.

Then again, no. I love Tila Tequila for not choosing Brittany because now this gorgeous girl is free (to date me?).

I need to sleep. I think I'm unraveling.

Remember this post, in which I pimped kben's She's The Man Olivia/Viola fic called Whirligig of Time? Well, folks, it's been updated. Parts 5-7 and Part 8. SQUEE.

Because I was yammering about Wicked some time ago, I want to share some of my favorite fics so far:

-How much do I LOVE colliding_kiss's 100 themes in 100 days thing? Every single one of the drabbles or one-shots so far is absolutely splendid. #43, #74, and #77. And this is still going!

-SO heartbreaking. And beautiful. Untitled by lfae.

-Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. In The Glow by laylat.


I know I'm not the only one to have noticed the serious famine in the Gossip Girl S/B fic area lately. What I desperately want to know is where Fictions Are Genius Lies by stratocaster24 went. I was really, really into that story, and I would love to read a conclusion. (Please?) :(

Does anyone have any good femslash fic from any of my typical fandoms to recommend? Please share with the whole class!

But not that much. I mean, come on. Girl-on-girl eye candy doesn't come around every day on the broadcast networks and the non-HBO, non-Showtime cable nets. Yes, most kisses between female characters in primetime are purely exploitative, meant only to bolster ratings. Yes, it sets a trend that makes it difficult for actual, meaningful femslash to be taken seriously. Yes, it objectifies attractive women for the sake of titillating a virile male audience. Yes, it is often only employed for cheap laughs.

But do I still enjoy seeing an exploitative lesbian kiss on primetime TV every now and again? Hell yes. Guilty as charged. Here are my favorites:

Kiss and Make Up on Las Vegas

Come Out From Behind that Desk on Ally McBeal

Life Would Be So Much Simpler on Scrubs

At Least They Use This One for Valid Social Commentary on Kyle XY

Maybe You'll Remember This on Friends

That's all I can think of/find on YouTube at this late hour. I think I should sleep now. :)

In this post, I started a list of my personal favorites as far as network TV canon lesbian/bisexual characters go, but since people made more suggestions and I've had more time to think about it, I've decided to just make it a list of

( Canon Lesbian/Bisexual Characters on Network Television )

ETA: Thanks for the feedback, y'all. Holy cow, you guys. I turn my back for 24 hours, and half the state of Rhode Island comments on this post. It just proves how awesome femslash is. And whatnot. And as much as I would love to put Ashley and Spencer from South of Nowhere and Paige and Alex from Degrassi (Damn, Canada! Show us up in the U.S. with all of your awesome femslash television, why doncha!) on this list, they are technically cable shows. Network television seems to be the hardest place to find anything gay that isn't Will & Grace or Michael Urie on Ugly Betty, so I feel like the relatively few lesbian/bisexual characters should be acknowledged and discussed. So there. :P

I mean, male characters are allowed to be gay and have onscreen relationships with other men on the Nets now, so would it kill you, CBS, to let Emily and JJ go on a date? Or would you suddenly explode, CW, if Serena and Blair just gave up and admitted their oh-so-romantic love for each other? And clearly, ABC, your ratings could benefit in a meaningful, non-exploitative way if you just let Lindsay and Cindy make out like they obviously want to, what with all the eye-shagging and things. But I digress.

Further comments? Complaints? Legal injunctions?

For this clip of a Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman interview, I will make an exception. They are, like, totally in love, or banging each other, or something. LOL. Watch it! Tell me what you think!

How hilarious is Scarlett Johansson in that clip? She's just...staring! With rapt attention! So freaking funny.

Just for kicks, here is the beginning of my personal list of Greatest (Canon) Lesbian/Bisexual Characters on Network TV Evar:

-Original Cindy from Dark Angel
-Alex Kelly from The O.C.
-Kerry Weaver from ER
-Anna Taggaro from One Tree Hill
-Jessie Sammler and Katie Singer from Once and Again

Who else should be on this list? Cable TV doesn't count. I mean, if we counted cable, we'd have to put the entire cast of the The L Word on the list, and that would just be silly. :)

But here I am, still fretting my head off about the upcoming new season of One Tree Hill. I am still very much heartbroken about the loss of Danneel Harris as Rachel, not only because I came to love Rachel, not only because Danneel makes it hard for me to breathe properly sometimes, but because this means no more Brooke/Rachel subtext and/or text. SAD. But that's not the end of the world, because Brachel will live on in my very active imagination and in any fic I might write.

Even so, whoever else watches OTH this season is going to have to help me find a new femslash pairing for Brooke. Sophia Bush is too amazing not to have subtext with someone equally amazing, so we've got to find her someone new. I have a serious, serious thing for Sophia Bush (as though you couldn't already tell...), so I know I'm going to be picky about whom I 'ship her with. This goes for guys, too. I liked Lucas/Brooke until they ruined it, and since then it's been Rachel and a whole lot of no one. (And Haley in fanfic and my mind.) (And okay, sometimes Peyton in fanfic and my mind. But it's been at least 85% Rachel!) So you can see my dilemma. This is part of why I'm freaking out about the new OTH. The other part is how easy it could be for Schwann and Co. to destroy all the characters. Seriously. I'm nervous.

Whatev. Things will happen as they happen. I will have to wait and see. But as far as I'm concerned, Brooke and Rachel will be making out in my mind 4EVA!@!!1!$2!!!three!!1!

Just for the heck of it, here is the list of my favorite current TV pairings, in no particular order (okay, somewhat particular order; the ones near the top are slightly more important):

-Lindsay/Cindy, Women's Murder Club: This show is doing almost all of the subtext work for me. I don't even have to watch with my femslash goggles on.
-Emily/JJ, Criminal Minds: I tried very hard not to get into this show or this pairing, but I failed. Miserably.
-Serena/Blair, Gossip Girl: I don't even frakking watch this show! I just read fic for Serena/Blair, and I read it insatiably. In fact, this may be my biggest obsession after Lindsay/Cindy right now. Leighton and Blake are just.so.hot, together and separately, and the subtext/text is more than I can bear. And I don't even watch Gossip Girl! CRAZY! But I love them!
-Christina/Amanda, Ugly Betty: Odd, but strangely alluring. Can't get over how orientationally flexible Amanda seems, and how Christina is one of few who actually has real conversations with her.
-Lexie/Cristina, Grey's Anatomy: Cristina showed Lexie, the saddest and most adorable girl on TV, compassion. And that is a freaking big deal.
-Calleigh/Natalia, CSI Miami: Just the idea of these two is enough. Who needs any actual subtext?

Merry almost Christmas, y'all. :)

Okay, can someone who knows the Gossip Girl books please tell me which book has the Serena/Blair flashback-kiss-in-a-hot-tub thing? Please? I'm kind of dying.

Sorry I haven't been around for a little while. There's no new TV! And I work a lot right now. And the shopping. And I just finished school. And the grad school applications! And I'm too tired to blog sometimes. But I'm still here, don't you worry. And the very second TV has good femslash again, you won't be able to get me to shut up. Ever.

I'm sorry this has taken so long, but katikat asked for some Lindsay/Cindy WMC fic recs last week. This post and this post have some of my personal favorites. Pretty much anything by liz_estrada, random_flores, and texaswatermelon is going to be awesome. Just read this one last night (early this morning?), and GUH. I would be so miserable without good fic like this.

Speaking of fic, although not necessarily good...I finally posted the final chapter to my Brooke/Rachel One Tree Hill fic over at FF.net. Only took me ten thousand years to get around to it. Sigh. I am notoriously bad at finishing stories.

And Criminal Minds really was a rerun! I'm so mad! That last new episode was going to sustain me through long, cold WGA strike months! And now I am left with nothing. I will just have to reread my favorite Emily/JJ fic. Anybody wanna recommend some more good ones?

I hope everyone is having a good holiday season. Laters. :D

So. As you can probably tell by now, the lack of television means a lack of femslash for me to babble insanely about. Therefore, we must dig deep into the annals of the past for good femslash content.

But before I get into that, I have to say that on what must be the last new episode of CSI: Miami for a long time, the former confidential informant that Natalia was questioning? The edgy-looking woman with whom Natalia had worked previously and clearly had some sort of history, professional or otherwise? The one with the blue streaks in her hair and the appraising eyes? Um, yeah. Even though she was talking about her relationship with the FBI agent she worked with and had an affair with, she was, like, eyeing Natalia. That was the first thing I noticed when she initially appeared. When she was all, "It's been while, Natalia, how've you been?" or whatever, she was making eyes! You know the ones I mean. Sigh. And this is all the femslash I'm gonna get for a while.

Thank God for a new Criminal Minds on Wednesday. The Emily/JJ will have to sustain me for who knows how long...

And now, I would invite you all to enter into a discussion with me about the fact that in the last two seasons of One Tree Hill, Rachel has clearly been madly in love with Brooke and desperately torn between bitch-slapping her nearly to death before throwing her down on the nearest flat surface and having her violent, darkly lustful way with her, or confessing her deep abiding love for Brooke and that she wants to marry her and have Brooke's babies and get old and wrinkly with her forever and ever, amen. I mean, come on. I cannot be the only one who sees this. Thoughts? Questions? Rotten fruit to throw at my head?

If she wasn't so effing gorgeous, I wouldn't even be having this crisis. Well, it's not a really a crisis. Just a...difficulty. I have seen the first two parts of SciFi's Tin Man miniseries (will watch the third in the next couple days, which may only make this worse), and the DG/Azkadellia twinges I'm having? 100% her fault. She could stand next to a tree or an empty bucket, and I would probably still feel like there were vibes. Just read this fic, and I probably shouldn't have. I just can't bring myself to femslash the incest. I can't! If I won't do it for Lexie and Meredith on Grey's Anatomy, then I certainly can't make an exception for DG and Az. No. So, I must respectfully ask people never to write good DG/Az fic ever, ever again. (Please? For my sanity? Heh...)

Oh, and I've been meaning to get around to discussing this. Battlestar Galactica: Razor. Wow. What an excellent movie that was. BSG is always so freaking amazing. I miss that show, even if it does break my heart. Okay, so...as much Tricia Helfer making eyes at Michelle Forbes (Ensign Ro!!1!) is an eyebrow-raiser, this is another femslash pairing I just.cannot.do. I hate Cain. I have since she first showed up in S2. She's crazy, and morally bankrupt. And this is a real shame, too. So many good femslash opportunities! But no Cain for me (no Cain/Gina, no Cain/Shaw, etc.). I can't femslash Starbuck with anyone either (except for Kat, but alas, that was not to be) because I am too rabidly Starbuck/Apollo. I love the het 'ships on that show, and I've never really gotten the femslash-ness that other people seem to. I think the one slashy element of Razor that I could get behind is Gina/Shaw. Yes. I could go there.

A big thank yooooouuuuu to billy_rose and jeepy91 for the awesome Mutant X fic recs! Those FFn authors will be depriving me of sleep for weeks to come. :D Shalimar/Emma makes me want to netflix MX, just for those two.

Okay, after finally seeing Part 2 of the Grey's Anatomy ep "Crash Into Me," not only am I infinitely more in love with Lexie Grey (forever and ever 'til death do us part, etc.), I will 'ship that girl with anyone without a Y chromosome. How much do I love that Cristina was actually compassionate with her? Cristina is never compassionate! Never! And then bringing Lexie to Meredith's house because "she doesn't have anybody." Guh. I think at this point, my favorite femslash pairing for GA is Lexie/Cristina, but Meredith/Cristina finds its way into my thoughts ever now and then. But Lexie/Cristina? Lexie/anyone (female--George is taken, and Alex is gross, and everyone else male is too old for her)? Hell yes.

Okay, I know someone around here knows Mutant X. Shalimar/Emma? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? This is another great example of a show I've never seen, but I know enough about it to read femslash fic and really enjoy it. I've read a few Shal/Emma fics and watched several music vids on ye olde YouTube, but can anybody recommend some more good fic? Or music vids, whatever you feel like. Please? :)

The dwindling amount of new, femslash-rich television is really going to cramp my style. What on earth am I going to do with myself when there is no more Women's Murder Club? And what if it never comes back, ever? What with the strike and all, it may never make it back to air. Plus, who knows if ABC would have kept it around even if there weren't a strike. I can't even really contemplate the possibility of no Lindsay/Cindy ever again. All I have to say is that if this show is lost in the unfortunate WGA strike shuffle, random_flores, liz_estrada, texaswatermelon, and all you other WMC writers better keep churning out the goods. (Please?)

By the way, happy belated birthday to texaswatermelon!

I don't know how many of you have seen the most recent episode of Ugly Betty, "Giving Up the Ghost," but I think I've finally found my UB femslash OTP. The scene near the end where Amanda is crying in Faye's secret room? And Christina comes in and speaks comfortingly and sensibly to her in that absolutely endearing Scottish accent? I am gone. That's it. Amanda/Christina it is. I think the important thing about this scene and the entirety of their interaction so far is that Amanda actually manages to connect on a real emotional level with Christina, however shallow that connection may yet be. Amanda, despite her bravado and flamboyance, is actually a very guarded, insecure, lonely person, and Christina is one of the few people we've seen so far to see that side of her. Yes. Love it.

Oh, and who saw Grey's Anatomy right after that? I had to laugh when Izzie watches Meredith and Cristina dancing around and then grumbles to George that she's so tired of Meredith and Cristina and "their stupid love affair with each other," or something to that effect. Hee! And I know this isn't femslash related, but I hate what they've done to Izzie/George. It was all going so beautifully, so why did they have to throw in this completely ridiculous and contrived plot conflict that they have no romantic chemistry? I was in the damn elevator with them, they have chemistry! Gah. That is all.

My new favorite femslash fandoms for shows I don't even watch:

Criminal Minds: I've seen several episodes of this show over the years, and I've always enjoyed it. Recently, Emily/JJ has come to my attention, and I am sitting up and taking notice. Thanks in part to some amazing fic I read recently:
-Answer by fewthistle
-All For Believing by fewthistle

Gossip Girl: Oh. My. God. The combined experience of seeing five minutes of the episode "Seventeen Candles" (you know the five minutes I mean...) and reading some of the most flabbergastingly good fic I've ever read has me obsessing over Serena/Blair just a tiny bit. Drop everything you are doing and read this right the hell now:
-Audrey Can Wait by fembuck

Like I said, I don't even watch Gossip Girl, not really. You don't need to watch the show to be struck speechless by this story. And there are sequels! GUH.

Goodnight, all. Femslash is everywhere, and all that. :D

ETA: I am an idiot and should not post when I have insomnia. I fixed the "All For Believing" link. Duh.

So, I want to relate to you a brief history of my femslash awareness.

I have been aware of femslash in a cognitive way since Willow/Tara on BtVS years back. However, I didn't really pay any attention. I know this is like femslash sacrilege, but I've never liked Willow/Tara or Willow/Kennedy or Willow/any female character. I've always thought it was something Asshat Whedon did to be FirstLezbiansEVARS!@2#!!!1!1!!2! Willow's sudden lesbianism was quite out of character. If they had decided to have Willow fall in love with Tara and then let that segue into bisexuality, that would have made perfect sense. But no. Joss threw character continuity out the window so he could make himself look edgy and "kewl." Ugh. Whatever.

So, I would have to say the very first time I actually began to really care about femslashy subtext or text on TV was Marissa/Alex on The O.C.. I don't care what anybody says. The scene in the ep "The Second Chance" where Marissa comes up to Alex and wordlessly takes her hand? OMG. That has to be one of the hottest things I've ever seen. I watched that scene over and over. I like that even better than all their makeout scenes combined, even though those are nice too. Yes, Marissa/Alex was a ratings stunt. Yes, it ended stupidly. But I don't care! I still love those episodes, and I love being able to watch a mainstream show and see a semi-serious same-sex relationship. If that means something is wrong with me, I don't give a crap. :)

But after Marissa/Alex? I watched seasons 1-4 of Babylon 5, and Susan/Talia was what really did me in for good. I wasn't at all looking for subtext in that show because I knew very, very little about B5 or the characters. I just wanted to watch it because I remember seeing commercials for it back in the day and being interested. Holy shit. It was like being smacked in the face with the Trout of Femslash Subtext. "Divided Loyalties" broke my heart. It was then that I understood that femslash was real and not imagined, and I liked it very much.

It pretty much snowballed out of control from there, and here I am now, The Femslash Addict. :D

Every now and again, I will recommend awesome femslash music vids that I run across. Here you go.

GUH. Best Fingersmith vid evar.

Can there ever be enough multi-fandom femslash vids? I think not.

Brooke/Sam of Popular, anyone?

Another Brooke/Sam. Because I can.

That's all for right now. Let me know if you've found any good vids lately. :D